he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
