Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
