Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Less talking, more tequila
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
