The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I believe in your delicious
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
