i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
