Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
