He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize