Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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