So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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