Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
