She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
