I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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