check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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