He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
