She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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