my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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