How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
