I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
