he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
