i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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