They should really pass out barf bags in church
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
