This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
