i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
