If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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