I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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