Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
