I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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