Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
