im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
