He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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