you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
