im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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