dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You work out of a Hotel?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
