All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
