I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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