It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I AM VODKA MAN
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
