I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
