This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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