So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
