Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
