used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
