They should really pass out barf bags in church
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
