Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
