Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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