5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
