remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drunk is not a location!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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