the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
