The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
