ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
my poor anus
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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