What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
