i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
