i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
