yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
