i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
